The countdown officially begins

Well, today the had my going away luncheon and it was really fabulous. I was overwhelmed. There were 37 people that showed up. I could hardly believe it. The food was wonderful and I saw people that I hadn't seen in quite some time. My husband, brother and his fiancee were invited as well. I got a beautiful crystal dish, complete with a lid, with my name inscribed on it, as well as "We will miss you, November 14th, 2003" (the date will be my last day there). I was very touched. I think that was the point that marked the beginning of my countdown. There is no turning back now.

Paperless Society

Uhhhh...where?

What would we do without email? I mean, come on. How many of us have had a work stoppage when our email was down? It amazes me. We use the telephone alot less these days because it seems to be easier to just zip off an email.

Of course, the powers that be state that this is one of the engines that enables us to have a paperless society. Pardon me, how long have you been taking those mind altering drugs? I don't know about the rest of you but it certainly doesn't work that way when your customer is the Navy (or any Government entity). We may have email, and use our computers extensively, but I still have PAPER files. I have two bookshelves right now, filled completely with binders that keep records of everything. And alot of them go way back to when God invented dirt. I won't even talk about the file drawers I have. You know, those stupid one's that lock up when you try to open up more that one drawer at a time?

So, I don't get it. Paperless society? Yeah..in your dreams pal.

Over at OWW, the old man's place, the origin of Midget Terrorist is finally revealed.

My Mad Friend from Texas informs me that he did not originate the term "Midget Terrorists". That one was invented by the cartoonist Berkely Breathed, in the strip "Bloom County". Credit where credit is due....

I say horse shit pucky. The modeled that after my kids. They were the inspiration. Mr. Breathed, I'm going to sue your arse pants off. Then I can retire early. Think I'm kidding? Look at these Stella awards posted by my friend A99 over on one of the forums I'm an administrator at.

STELLA AWARDS 2002 It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, successful lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens that allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question. 5th place (Tied) A jury of her peers awarded Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas $780,000 after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son. 5th place (Tied) 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps. 5th place (Tied) Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. 4th place Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in his owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun. 3rd place A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. 2nd place Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. 1st place This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago motor home. On his trip home from a football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.

Obviously, you don't know me.

Mood: Happy
Background noise: Hey Arnold

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