Bahama Mamma and Sex on the Beach

My girlfriend took me up to Savannah on Sunday. Why? Because she wanted to show me what it was all about. It's a popular place to visit, and now I understand why.

We started off the day by visiting Keller's Flea Market (we are physically incapable of passing up a Flea Market and this one is absolutely HUGE!). One word: OH...MY...GAWD! What a fun place! It's a mixture of junk, cheap stuff and some really nice goods. I, on the other hand, only bought a drain strainer. I know, I know, too much excitement for one entry. Lest you think I'm a wild spender or a woman on the edge, let me explain some things.

We have a septic tank. Ergo, we have no garbage disposal. This strainer is wonderful for catching all of the crap little scraps of food that you miss so that they don't go down the drain. Or, and this is my favorite, you FORGET we are all mindless dolts that you no longer have a garbage disposal, and can't dump crap little scraps of food down the drain and go ahead and do it anyway. Each and every member of my family has done this (excluding the fish). Of course, I have an excuse. I had children, lost all of my brain cells and am in a never-ending search for my car keys.

Please don't get me started about the puppies we saw there. I told my husband to thank his luck stars that I didn't walk in with a new addition to our family (or was that additions?).

After the visit to the flea market, my girlfriend drug me away from the furry creatures, and we made a quick stop at the Outlet Mall there. Like flea markets, Outlet Malls are a "must see" in our book. Then again, Beals Outlets are too. Shopping is the name and bargain hunting is the game. But I digress and should save this for another post. Like I said, after the flea market and after the mall, we headed on up to Savannah and spent most of our time on River Street. There are an abundance of shops to visit, and so many restaurants to chose from. We had allot of samples at a couple of candy shops (where we got to watch them make it and we drooled so much the manager had to ask us to leave before we scared the customers away). We even visited a peanut shop. So many nuts, so many flavors (no, I'm not talking about San Francisco).

Warning to readers: If you ever see a Wasabi peanut, for the love of God,
don't try it. If not, you'll have the added health bonus of never having
to blow your nose again, which wasn't as bad as the shape my tongue was in, nor the fact that I had no visible sign of lips left. I did not heed the warning. When I came too, the paramedics told me that they couldn't perform CPR on me because there was a three alarm fire coming out of my ears, and am excited to report that I'll have no more nose hairs to remove.

Simply put, Savannah, at least downtown, basically consists of what I'll call two stories, with shops/restaurants, etc. on each level. Cobblestone or brick streets run throughout the city, and old warehouses are the residence of the shops. The floors in the shops include concrete, rugs or a mixture of both. It's a good thing to watch your step when walking either inside OR outside. The stairs to get down to the lower level, or vice versa, are vertical, and way to high for any sane person to attempt to climb and if you think I'll ever do that again you're crazy very high. On the upper level, there are many walkways that take you from the main road to the shops. Since it was difficult to see anything when crossing them because I was crawling on my hands and knees crying like a baby for someone to shoot me because my head was level with the clouds, I often wondered just how much I really wanted to visit the shops on "the other side."

One of the high spots (and there are many) of Savannah is a place called Wet Willie's. Imagine a slurpie shop with any flavor imaginable...with a kick ass amount variety of alcohol, in large quantities. I tried the Bahama Mamma, and my girlfriend has Sex on the Beach (I can see your minds working here). Good stuff! I'm happy to report that after about 24 hours, the walls stopped moving.