First Crush

For those of you who don't know me, I'm blessed with having a 10 year old daughter. Moobear is experiencing her first crush. While this can be considered somewhat cute in many family atmospheres, I am here to tell you that in my house, it is a lesson in kid-speak. What is kid-speak, you ask? It's my firm belief that every household with children, has some form of the language that only astute, or seriously intelligent beings can even comprehend. I thought I was one of the aforementioned, but then, I have always been a bit delusional. And full of crap.

I, being the seriously involved parent, know all of my children's friends, enemies, nutritional habits, phobias, favorite television shows, disgusting habits, and frogs. About the frogs. I'll get into that later...some day.

The "crush" started off innocently enough. I noticed Moobear working feverishly on a piece of paper, and when I walked into the room, she immediately turned it over.

Me: Whatcha got there?

Moobear: It's personal

Radar, radar....child is hiding something. Radar, radar...must find out what it is.

Me: Can I see it?

Moobear: Promise you won't laugh at me?

Me: Absolutely.

So she comes over and sits on my lap and shows me what she was working on. I immediately wiped all expression from my face (in other words I didn't laugh or say something like "oh, how cuuuuute"). The piece of paper had Joe Futuresoninlaw written all over it...with little hearts, and sayings such as "The future Mrs. MooBear Futuresoninlaw."

I asked her all the pertinent questions such as:

1. Is he cute?
2. What does he look like?
3. Is he nice?
4. Does he have good bone structure?
   
5. What are his grades like?
6. What are his aspirations for his future career?
7. Does he own a car?
8. Does his family have money?

After gathering all of my data, I deemed him sufficient son-in-law material and sent her on her way to get ready for school.

That night, as we were eating dinner, I asked her how her day went. She immediately told me that she was really mad a "H" but was still her friend. Here, my loyal readers, is where kid-speak comes in. I pity my poor husband. The brave soul put on a good face and pretended that he knew what the hell was going on. I gave him ice cream as desert for being such a good sport.

Moobear did not want to use names because she didn't want her father to know who she was talking about. Go figure...we girls know how that works. After all, I am "the mom who knows all about her child's life" so I should be able to follow along and fill Dad in later. Did I mention I was full of crap?

I have tried to capture the gist of the conversation below, and to the best of my knowledge, this is what Moobear said.

"K told JM that H liked JM. M told JM that H had a booklet about JM. M told H that M liked JM. M got mad at H for telling JM that M liked JM. M found out that JO liked JM, so M told JM that JO liked JM."

Follow that? Good. I got an email from her teacher today. Seems the fifth grade girls are lacking focus this week. I've decided that JM has a lot to answer to. Now if I could just figure out what all of this means......