50 Rules

A different take on 100 things (only in this case, it's fifty rules). How many of you would like to make your own rules, and stick them on the refrigerator? The question is, would it do any good?

1. Clothing belongs in one of four places. Your body, your dresser, your closet or the dirty clothes hamper. In no circumstances, should it be found on the floor.
2. Shoes belong on your feet, or in your closet. If they are the shoes you plan on wearing outside once you leave the house, you may leave them at the door leading out to the garage.
3. My shoes are only to be worn by me.
4. Eating is only allowed in the breakfast nook, except for when we sit down to dinner, and then you will all stay seated at the table and not ask for desert until everyone is through. Absolutely no food is allowed in the living room.
5. The same rule that applies to #4 applies to drinking, unless you are getting a drink of water from the bathroom.
6. Only one snack will be given after school. I don't care how hungry you are. If you have eaten within the last 24 hours, I don't want to hear about it.
7. All toys must be put away at the end of the day. This does not mean that you throw them in your closet in a half hazardous manner. If I find any laying around on my nightly sweep, they are mine for an indeterminate period of time.
8. If you get something out, put it away when you are through.
9. Keep all chewing gum inside your mouth.
10. Do not, under any circumstances, draw on yourself with a permanent marker. I don't care if you want to pretend to have the chicken pox.
11. It is not acceptable to belch loudly at a restaurants.
12. Do not sit on the dog. She has enough issues.
13. Do not ask me if you can shave your legs unless you are in middle school. Only then, will I be willing to discuss it.
14. Anyone who uses the toilet, must flush it.
15. When I go into the bathroom, please do not follow me. There are some things a mom must do on her own.
16. If you have used the last of the toilet paper, do not leave the bathroom until you have put on a new roll.
17. There is no need to get a new glass each time you want something to drink.
18. Do not climb on top of the car.
19. Do not jump on the furniture.
20. No hitting, pinching, biting, scratching, kicking, or otherwise maiming your sibling or any other human being.
21. When you are at the opposite end of the house from me, do not yell "MOM" and expect me to come running to you to see what you want.
22. You may not jump on the trampoline when it is raining.
23. You may not eat or drink on the trampoline.
24. Do not put clean clothes in the dirty hamper
25. Yes, you must brush your hair before you go outside.
26. When I ask you to wash your hands, I mean with soap.
27. Before drying your hands on the hand towel, rinse them. Please do not use the guest towel.
28. When I say no, I mean no. Do not keep asking me.
29. Do not put empty containers, cartons, or boxes back into the pantry or refrigerator. Throw them away.
30. If you miss the garbage can, walk over, pick it up and try again.
31. You do not need six band aids to cover a wound left by a small thorn.
32. Giving me a hug, kiss, telling me you love me or any other sign of affection is acceptable at any time.
33. Just because I bought your sister something, but not you, does not mean I love her more. It all evens out in the end.
34. Please do not dawdle when getting in the car. I would like to get to wherever we are going before midnight.
35. The volume of your voice does not always have to be set to loud. I am old. Not deaf.
36. Scotch tape is not meant to be wrapped around your arm so you can pretend it is broken and you are wearing a cast.
37. Please do not bring toads or tree frogs inside the house. I don't care how cute they are. I am more than happy to come outside and look.
38. If you are watching TV, turn it off when you leave the room.
39. Please do not paint your nails while sitting on the living room carpet or the leather couch.
40. If you spill something, clean it up or if you don't know how, come and tell me. I'll be glad to help.
41. If something is bothering you, tell me. I might not be able to help, but I'm always willing to listen.
42. If you want to organize the video tapes and DVD's that is wonderful. But don't pull them all out and then decide you are bored and leave them in disarray, for me to clean up.
43. When you are done playing games on my computer, turn the volume back down to where it was.
44. I will tell you when I think you have enough "up there" to fill a bra. I don't mind checking on it for you every night, but it's probably not a good idea to keep asking our father as well.
45. You may not watch Mad TV.
46. Do not lie to me. I will find out and it will only make the punishment worse.
47. Every once in a while, I like to go somewhere by myself or with a friend. Do not whine to me about how I never take you anywhere, or complain that I don't get you something when I return.
48. I do not love one of you more than the other. You each are my favorite child in your own way.
49. Unnecessary tattling lowers my tolerance level and tends to make me not listen to the real stuff.
50. This is the most important rule of all. I will always love you, even when I am mad at you. When I make you angry, it is because I am making a decision I think is best for you. If you tell me you hate me, that's ok, because I love you enough for the both of us.